I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
