I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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