She's JV to your varsity
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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