Buhtt sex?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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