did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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