You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
