Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
