so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
