i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize