"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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