tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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