Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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