This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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