i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
