We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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