remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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