Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
