Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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