Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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