Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
