Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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