so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
