dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
