How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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