I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
