I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
