Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
