I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
