the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
