She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
