It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
