Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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