Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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