I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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