Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
