Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
