I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
