JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
