; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
