we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize