I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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