If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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