how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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