i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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