Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
