I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
