I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
