It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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