Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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