i don't like sucking hair
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
