my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Panties = found
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize