How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
