I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
