Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize