That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
