We named our party play list daddy issues
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
